i chose my confirmation name of catherine when i was ten, size ten, ten stone
already full of some kind of demons, pre-teen, lack of self-esteem
not much longer before i was learning how to fuck boys, ten stories up with a strange boy
lucky i didn’t get knocked up, didn’t get knocked up
we’re all talking about owning our bodies, we’re all feeling our femininity like it’s godly
i believe us, we can all make peace with ourselves with enough love
but there’s so much wrapped up in the way that we were brought up
well you didn’t mean it but you were brought up in a world that reminds me that i’m a girl and i can’t come first so i gotta play catch up
childhood leaves us with a story and if we don’t find the words to voice it
then we keep going round the same old story, poor me, ignore me, it’s boring
don’t wanna pass this onto a small me, ten floors up with a story
lucky i didn’t get knocked up, didn’t get knocked up
i light a candle for my old self
i light a candle for my old shame
i stroke her hair and i tell her
that i love her all the same
eating secretly was my shame
one way or another we’re all addicted to our pain, my pain, my shame is my weight gain
i keep eating sugar tryna fill up spaces that sugar can’t find
that much sugar gets you feeling high, gets you floating out your mind
gets you going out your body cause your body wants to hide
but jameela jamil said the issue isn’t mine, that our shame was designed to alienate our kind
making problems out of women’s bodies is lucrative, because desire creates the perfect consumerist and it’s true that this world is tough and i coulda had a girl
thank god i didn’t get knocked up
credits
from shame,
released August 6, 2021
Written & performed by IDER
Produced by IDER & heck
Mixed by Nathan Boddy
Mastered by Salka Valsdóttir at Real Surreal Studio, Berlin
Photography by Dani Monteiro
Artwork by Georgia Strawson
I just started listening to this album today and am IN LOVE! Every track is perfect.
I'm slightly sad I didn't start listening to boygenius until but happy to be a fan of their music <3 lissie_a
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