shame

by IDER

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      £7 GBP  or more

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 7 IDER releases available on Bandcamp and save 15%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of shame, Saturday,, Gut Me Like An Animal, Million, King Ruby, Pulse, and Sorry. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      £11.90 GBP or more (15% OFF)

     

1.
i like the way the gold embroidery looks on your white gown i like the way the sun coming through your window looks like god is in your house i like the way you say that you have something for me to believe in let the light in, shame for my sin the world is what we believe and not many of us believe in jesus anymore and the darkness is active not still, not passive better listen to kanye and pray because you know how the night feels so fantastic i like the way the gold embroidery looks on your white gown i like the way the sun coming through your window looks like god is in your house i like the way you say that you have something for me to believe in let the light in, shame for my sin small gold jesus around my neck i've got to believe that she could love me yet life's so difficult, we sound so typical pretending to be cynical, gimme something spiritual we need something physical but faith is still invisible can't find it on instagram and i'm still fucking miserable i like the way all rise cross yourself i could believe in everything which means i don't really believe in anything at all i like the way you pray for me with your hand on my forehead i like to play and fall asleep and pretend like i'm already dead i like the way you sway when you all sing to heaven, hold me heavy wet on my skin, shame for my sin what are you doing to grow? should have finished what i started all those years ago
2.
cbb to b sad 04:28
well i hate myself i hate that i’m sitting on top of your body, thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ else fuckin’ with my eyes shut nowhere you touch me is enough to stop me looking for a way out i’ve become that person, yeah i’m selfish, i’m weak and suddenly i hate the way you speak the way you eat me out i draw my curtain, yeah it’s harder to lie in the light i see you looking at me, waiting for me well i know i shouldn’t be with you but i can’t be bothered to be sad i’m so lonely next to your body knowing that you don’t know i feel this bad funny how time changes your mind and you were once the best thing i ever had then you roll over and kiss my shoulder, maybe i love you, maybe i’m just mad well i hate myself i used to be fun and cool, now i don’t fancy myself pickin’ up old fights, tryna make you hate me cause i can’t be straight when you ask if i’m alright well it’s my problem, yeah i’m selfish, i’m weak and suddenly i see i’m in too deep gonna hurt to leave and i don’t wanna solve it, even though you repulse me every time you love me and you look at me waiting for me
3.
Knocked Up 04:29
i chose my confirmation name of catherine when i was ten, size ten, ten stone already full of some kind of demons, pre-teen, lack of self-esteem not much longer before i was learning how to fuck boys, ten stories up with a strange boy lucky i didn’t get knocked up, didn’t get knocked up we’re all talking about owning our bodies, we’re all feeling our femininity like it’s godly i believe us, we can all make peace with ourselves with enough love but there’s so much wrapped up in the way that we were brought up well you didn’t mean it but you were brought up in a world that reminds me that i’m a girl and i can’t come first so i gotta play catch up childhood leaves us with a story and if we don’t find the words to voice it then we keep going round the same old story, poor me, ignore me, it’s boring don’t wanna pass this onto a small me, ten floors up with a story lucky i didn’t get knocked up, didn’t get knocked up i light a candle for my old self i light a candle for my old shame i stroke her hair and i tell her that i love her all the same eating secretly was my shame one way or another we’re all addicted to our pain, my pain, my shame is my weight gain i keep eating sugar tryna fill up spaces that sugar can’t find that much sugar gets you feeling high, gets you floating out your mind gets you going out your body cause your body wants to hide but jameela jamil said the issue isn’t mine, that our shame was designed to alienate our kind making problems out of women’s bodies is lucrative, because desire creates the perfect consumerist and it’s true that this world is tough and i coulda had a girl thank god i didn’t get knocked up
4.
obsessed 04:56
are you obsessed with me? do you get bored of me? did i act crazy? is this a relationship? could i cheat on you? could you cheat me too? is this loyalty, what is loyalty? will we have years to fill? will we have time to kill? do you have secrets to spill? i have pain to heal did you choose me? could you lose me? are you obsessed with me? do i need you to be? oh i know, i’m all coming out now i’m unravelling myself, can’t take back what you’ve found oh you see, this is the gemini in me i’m so passionately upside down i’m just too scared i’m too obsessed with you i’ll lose my mind and throw it long for you i hate the way i’m so impressed by you next thing i know i’ll write a song for you i’m just too scared i’m too obsessed i’m just too scared i’m too obsessed with you do i speak like you? do you want me to? do you mind if i do? i’m in love with you did you love her more? am i insecure? or am i the one that you’ve been waiting for? am i losing sight? did we have a fight? are you still swiping right here i’ve lost my mind do i really care? or is this my pride? am i dealing with something else deep inside? oh it’s true, i’m all over the place over thinking every single look on your face oh i wish i could stop with my questions my fear of rejection oh
5.
BORED 03:30
i’m bored of the way you think that i like you i’m bored of the way they talk all about i’m bored of your day job, i’m bored of your evening bored of the shit you chat when you’re steaming i’m bored of the lies and i’m bored of the fighting i’m bored of the way you speak yeah i’m bored of the gaslighting, the truth you’re hiding i’m bored of the lunch you eat i’m bored of the clones and i’m bored of the music i’m bored of my phone and the way that i use it i’m bored of the showin’, i’m bored of the tellin’ bored of the lives we’re selling i’m bored of the impatient perfectionism i’m bored of only wanting the things that i’m missing i’m bored of the scrolling, i’m bored of the choosing bored of the soul we’re losing won’t you fail with me won’t you fail with me won’t you fail with me won’t you fail with me i’m bored of the pictures, i’m bored of your pose yeah i’m bored of the wages you stuff up your nose yeah i’m bored of your ego, i’m bored of your shame i’m bored of you forgetting my name yeah i’m bored of the way we think we know what we’re saying i’m bored of the way we think we’re saving the planet, the world with our bank account savings i’m bored of the ads and i’m bored of the craving bored of the hypernormalisation i’m bored of the coffee i buy at the station i’m bored of the apathy, bored of the nation bored of never being patient i’m bored of the boring trainers you wear on your feet yeah i’m bored of the saturday nights on the street bored of pretending not to be weak i’m bored of no one admitting defeat i’m bored of your laugh when i’m not being funny i’m bored that i’m poor while i’m making you money yeah i’m bored i’m bored
6.
i’m waiting for you, i’m waiting for you i’m waiting for you, i’m waiting for you i’m not lonely, but you’re taking your time yeah i’m not lonely, but why are you taking your time?
7.
embarrassed 03:45
how much of my clothes can i take off? how much of my body can i show you? i don’t wanna waste this moment in case you like me but i’m scared i’ll make you go and you’re looking amazing in your friday night best and i’m thinking ‘bout dropping the cards from my chest when they call last orders and it’s time to go home don’t leave me alone how much of the truth can i tell you? how much of the mystery is part of the game? you’ve been the top of my favourite for so long now but suddenly i feel like i don’t know your name and i wanna slip these words right out of my lips how i’m thinkin’ ‘bout droppin’ the pants from my hips i can’t count the times i’ve imagined this i don’t wanna be your friend no more, i don’t wanna know you like this i just wanna kiss you on your floor, i don’t wanna feel embarrassed i’m so shy at saying goodbye, when i really care i think i’d rather die i never knew what baggage was until i said it was over before i tried i’m so annoyed i’m shouting about this, why can’t i put my heart where my mouth is? i see your face in the crowd you look so embarrassed, fuck is this the first time you’re hearing about it? i don’t wanna care, i don’t wanna care i don’t wanna feel
8.
always wanted to move to the city always wanted out of my hometown always thought it was so shitty had bigger dreams, i saw bigger skies that’ll all seem so petty when we’re made extinct by ai i won’t live to regret it but i’ll probably wish i’d been at home to die my midland’s guilt caught my midland’s shame taught my heart respect for the place i came from my midland’s guilt is with me all the same pray i see the day i make it home to die always wanted to get away and you all heard my accent change i regret that i wasn’t proud should have put more love into our landlocked town where some of us we didn’t vote ‘cause we mostly had no hope for change well i suppose we probably thought that we would just remain, remain i hope that you’ll let me remain

about

super limited 12" vinyl here!! ider.ffm.to/shamedf.kae

credits

released August 6, 2021

Photography by Dani Monteiro
Artwork by Georgia Strawson

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

IDER London, UK

rhymes with cider

our new album shame is out now!
you can pre-order super limited edition vinyl here:

ider.ffm.to/shamedf.kae

contact / help

Contact IDER

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like IDER, you may also like: